Wildly popular Australian hardware chain Bunnings, known for its charity fundraiser barbecues and its delicious ‘snags’ (a sausage sandwich), recently told staff to put onions under the sausages amid health and safety concerns over renegade loose onions escaping and causing patrons to slip.
The debate has gotten so out of control, it has even entered the international political sphere.
On Wednesday, at the ASEAN regional diplomatic summit in Singapore, Aussie Prime Minister Scott Morrison was caught unawares and asked to weigh in on an issue which may decide his future political career.
“Whether the onions are on top or underneath, I’ll always be buying sausages on bread,” Morrison diplomatically replied.
However, the topic was also broached by his New Zealand counterpart Jacinda Ardern, who described the #SnagGate issue as “the most pressing international or trans-Tasman news of the day.”
“I think we should make a joint commitment that on our watches, the Bunnings sausage sizzle shall continue,” Ardern said, to which Morrison quickly acquiesced.
“I agree… Onions on top, or underneath, however you like,” Morrison affirmed, patently not wanting to invoke the ire of his voter base back home.
As the debate rages on, the source of the extremely controversial decision has been found: Trevor, whose full name cannot be revealed, is a 65-year-old farmer from Queensland who signed an NDA after reaching a compensation agreement with Bunnings after a painful accident three years ago.
“It is serious stuff, this onion thing,” he told ABC news, adding that he had a panic attack upon returning to the store for the first time and couldn’t enter without “checking the floor for onions” first.
Contrarians among the Australian public seized on the opportunity to show their support for Bunnings’ health and safety officer, while other, more conspiracy theory-minded Twitter users called out what they saw as a canny marketing ploy.